BUY NOW AND GET THREE FREE PUPPIES WITH EACH PURCHASE!
*Puppies may or may not actually be imaginary.
**Some assembly required.
See how disappointing that is? That's just the worst.
Anyways, I wanted to take some time to let you guys get to know me a little bit better, and then talk about a few things going on in my life.
There are just some important things that people should know about other people. First off. Favorite animal? The panda. It's just the best. I had a little stuffed panda when I was younger, and it was my friend through many dangers. Kind of like Shadowfax from Lord of the Rings, but I didn't ride the panda, and my skills in magic were severely lacking (For those of you who haven't seen the Lord of the Rings movies, that's unfortunate. Watch them sometime, they're amazing. Then you can come back and read what I just said and understand it.). But for reals, look at this picture and tell me you don't want to hug and squeeze pandas.
How freaking adorable can you get? That's right, the answer is a bunch if you're a small panda.
Another essential bit of trivia one should know about all they meet is their zombie apocalypse plan. So here's mine.
Just kidding. Mine includes building a large tree-house and a network of treetop highways to get around and gather food. Because who's ever heard of a zombie that's talented at climbing? Now don't be alarmed, if you want to come with me on my genius plan, go for it. The more the merrier, right? Just bring some type of gun and also something that doesn't need to be reloaded. Like an ax. Speaking of which, I saw some new movie coming out that depicts the Great Emancipator Abraham Lincoln as a vampire hunter. He had an ax, too. See how effective those are? Abe Lincoln used one! That's got to be a great marketing plug for people who sell axes. The next time you're shopping for crosses and garlic, you'll be more inclined to pick up an ax. Hooray consumerism!
But one more thing about me. If I had to live in one country for the rest of my life, where would I go? That's easy! I've been to so many places....Oh wait, just America. That's part of the reason I'm really stoked to go to France on my mission, because I don't get out much in that sense. So this is just a shot in the dark, as I've never gone anywhere before...but I would like to live in Ireland. It's very pretty there, and I like rain a lot. It would be great. And maybe my kids would pick up the accent...not. Have you ever met a person who wants to move to a different country so their kids will speak with an accent? Sure, you say, "That'd be cool!" But on the inside, you're going, "That's stupid. That would only work if the individuals raising the child had the accent." Because where are kids primarily when they learn to talk? Their house. Not outside, picking up words on the street. But still the myth persists. Oh well.
But on to my life! It's been going pretty well as of late, I get to start a new week of classes tomorrow, which I'm not very thrilled about, but hey, that's what happens at college. I can't believe how this semester is flying by. Soon I'll be saying good-bye to people who I've spent like seven months with. That's pretty crazy to think about. More and more guys are getting their mission calls, and our ward is going all over the world! We're still pending missionaries to Antarctica and Asia, but our ward has all other continents covered. Equally crazy to think about. But today, before I leave the realm of conscious people, I would like to say a bit concerning something I know little about: style and fashion.
I like to dress up. It's really fun for me. I enjoy a good suit as much as the next guy, and a little bit more. See, in high school I was a part of this thing called Suit Coat Thursdays, where one would wear a suit coat over what they were wearing. It was fun, and so I could spice up my life a bit, I would purchase lots of suit coats and such at our local Goodwill and Salvation Army. That's where all of my formal wear save my tux and a navy pinstriped suit I own came from. If I found a cool-looking suit coat, I would try to match it with a shirt, pants, and tie. If I couldn't think of anything that would work with what I owned, then I tried to find other things to go with it. It was like a game of chess, but the feeling of triumph at winning was also accompanied by the confidence that comes from looking awesome. Those were good days.
There were also bad days. One day I walked into the Salvation Army, and I beheld the most beautiful solid white three-piece suit that there ever was. It was priced at ten dollars, and I kinda freaked out on the inside. I tried on the suit coat, and looked in the mirror. I felt like Wally from A Christmas Story: "I can't put my arms down!" It was too small. Men, if you were wondering, yes, that would definitely be a good time to cry. I put the suit back on the rack and left empty-handed.
But pretty much what I'm trying to say here is that our society should learn to look a little better. We've put so much stock into looking street and grungy and a little on the wild side that we've kinda dismissed formal wear. And personally, I don't know why. Some people say that suits are uncomfortable, they feel strangled in a tie. Then unbutton the top button of your shirt, silly! And even better, you get the ladies! Well, that's not the only deciding factor in getting ladies. You should also consider learning social skills and how to be an engaging conversationalist. But a good suit never hurt anyone's chances with the female gender. In my own experiences and with girls I've talked to, "Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn2-b_opVTo
Check that out. It's a sweet song by ZZ Top, saying the exact same thing. And you should believe them. Because if you can't believe classic rockers, who can you believe? That's right, nobody. Something else I've seen on this cool website called http://iwastesomuchtime.com/ (awesome place, by the way. They have really funny and cool stuff on there pretty routinely.) is this fun picture:
I apologize if that comes off as vulgar or crude, and maybe it went a little too far, I don't know. But really, guys. Put on a nice suit once in a while. Get a tie and a vest ensemble going. And not just on Sunday, either. Chicks dig it.
But there it is. I'm finally off my soapbox. I apologize for this being a little long, and again, congratulations if you had the wherewithal to read all of this. I just have a bunch of stuff to write about, and rambling is just fun.
So until next time, keep it cool and take it easy.
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